My Mommy Ate Some Bad Chicken

I was laying in bed the other night, curled up at the bottom by my mommy's feet and all of a sudden I felt this rumbling, I kinda sat up, and watched her belly do this......

I don't think my mommy is feeling well. I think she must have eaten some bad chicken or fish and its come back to life in her belly. She didn't act like it hurt but she is having a harder and harder time getting in and out of bed. I'm worried.....how can I tell daddy so he knows something is wrong? I wish I knew how to talk.

Dwarf? Lawn Gnome? Fairy? Elf?

Is a dwarf or elf moving in to my house?......These are the tiniest clothes I have ever seen. I am still one confused pup!

Itty Bitty Bikini

Mommy and Daddy were very excited the other night. They left me at Grandma's and when they came back they had two presents for Grandma and Papa to open. But, they only let them open one....I was confused but then Grandma pulled out a very very tiny red and white polka dotted ladybug swimsuit. At first I thought it was so small it had to be for me....but mommy knows I hate to swim so why would she buy me a swimsuit? And it had ruffles, and if you know me, you know I am NOT a girly girl dog and ruffles would not fly with me. So I am still confused who this little swimsuit is for. I hate to be rude but it would never fit mommy.....not even one foot of mommy's. I get more and more confused every day why they keep saying I am the big sister. I haven't seen a new puppy come home with them yet and the only visitors I have had is my cousin Zeke. Do you think since I am getting older I am losing my sanity? I did turn six this past year.

Top Ten Things Dogs Wish They Could Do

Now that my mommy has taught me how to type, here is another list of the things I hope to learn to do in my life time, well any dog for that matter!

10. Grab things instead of batting them around....I think they are called opposable thumbs?

9. Drink out of a straw.

8. Go into stores with you instead of sitting in the car, and not just the ones with the small creatures in cages that tempt us.

7. Reach itches all over our bodies instead of just a few places where if we strain hard enough we can barely get.

6. Potty without anyone watching to make sure we are going before we come back in the house.

5. Walk without a leash and be trusted to come back home.

4. Have crossing guards available at all times so we can cross the roads without the risk of being hit.

3. Pick locks to escape from the pound.

2. Read so I can figure out what this shirt means. Look below.

1. Talk so I could just ask my mommy what this shirt means, cuz apparently its a big deal to her!

A Picture of a Belly

My daddy took some pictures of my mommy a few weeks back. She pulled up her shirt and was showing off her belly. I am kinda confused. I originally thought maybe she got her belly button pierced and wanted a picture of her new bling. But, I looked close, titled my head to see better, and there wasn't anything sparkly. In fact, if I'm correct her belly looked "bigger." And I've known my mommy for my six years and she wouldn't be showing off getting fatter.

So now I am completely confused. Daddy's got a tummy (which is a soft cushion to lay on!) but he didn't take any pics of his belly, so why mommy? She lathers on this slick oil and gel every night and won't let me lay by her until its dry. So now she is lubing up her growing belly and making me steer clear instead of our normal cuddle before sleep.

My mommy is acting so weird! HELP! Any other dogs out there see this crazy behavior out of their mommy? Look below to see for yourself.

R.I.P Shoe Closet

Mommy and Daddy have been working all weekend on cleaning out the guest bedroom. I used to have a nice futon in there and some nice patches of sunshine to lounge in, and now its completely clear of anything and everything.

Mommy also moved out all of her shoes (and boy did she have a ton!) and squeezed them into another closet. She also found these plastic boxes that go under her bed to put shoes in so now I can't hide under there either! Why is she taking away all my favorite places to lay? I wonder if she is mad at me....but why do they need another bedroom anyways?

GO HORSE?

I heard a lot of people yelling "go horse" all afternoon. Mommy and Daddy dressed me in my Sunday jersey and took me to watch a football game at their friends Aden and Allison's. My auntie Jill was there she likes to take care of me, and she brought her new baby Lincoln to see me again too. I never understand why everyone in the room yells GO HORSE....when there are men in blue shirts on the screen? Where are the horses?

Anyway, Daddy didn't slam many doors so I think the game turned out like everyone wanted it to. I do really like sports since mom got me my very own Colts jersey and Purdue jersey. I like when I match my parents and don't really mind the clothes. Now, dresses ....those aren't for me, but I think everyone knows that. When the groomer puts my hair in a bow, mommy always pulls around the building and stops to take it out once they can't see her do it.

Here is a picture of me and my family in our jerseys.